Every single time BMW punches out a new model, the kidney grilles get bigger, the ridicule grows wider, and the pitchforks get sharper. Plus, the internet throws out some photoshopped pictures with the grilles enlarged for a few good laughs.

Now though, BMW has pre-empted this and beat us to it by launching a concept with the grilles so enormous we couldn’t possibly make a parody out of it. Furthermore, they lined the grille with lights so you can see your tiny econobox get swallowed at night on the road.

Genuinely, we’re surprised nobody has thought of editing the grilles with lights on the outlines. Guess BMW out-riced themselves. If you laugh at yourself first, nobody else can laugh at you.

The BMW XM is their M division’s first standalone product that won’t be based on an existing BMW model since the legendary M1 left us in 1981. Let’s not even get into why they went with an SUV. But if you must know, one out of every three M vehicles sold in the U.S. is an SUV.

The XM will slot above the X7 and only be available as a high-performance M model. They say the concept is around 80 to 90 percent of what the production version will look like. So, save your time trying to photoshop parodies of this and find another dead horse to beat as Chris Bangle laughs in your face about the time you called his designs ugly.

Unashamedly, BMW admits that the XM is “big for presence.” We think they meant the grilles. It’ll incorporate cues from BMW SUVs, M Power, luxury elements and electrification. Talk about going all out.

Since the XM is the first standalone M model since the M1, they’ve obviously put two BMW roundels on the rear window that are reminiscent of the M1.

The platform should be something derived from the X7 as the wheelbase remains the same at 310 cm. Those wheels are massive 23-inch rollers.

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Now being an M model, power isn’t on short supply but won’t distract you from the grille. BMW’s 4.4-litre turbocharged V-8 engine is paired with an electric motor for a combined output of 750 PS and 999 Nm of torque.

That’s officially the most powerful production M car ever, usurping the 627 PS M5 CS by over 100 PS as well as the Lamborghini Urus, Porsche Cayenne Turbo S E-Hybrid and the Dodge Durango SRT Hellcat. BMW is expecting an electric range of around 48 km.

Also Read: New 2021 BMW M5 (F90) debuts, do you like the new looks?

The XM is a melding of performance and luxury, meaning the rear passengers will be surrounded by all means of opulence. There’s no third row like the X7. The three strokes of the M insignia is plonked everywhere, even with the central controls and vents.

Velvet is the order of the day for the rear seats but don’t expect that to make production. However, the textured headliner with ambient lighting will.

Seeing the U.S. market's appetite for performance SUVs, the XM will be built in Spartanburg, South Carolina at the end of 2022. Pricing will start north of USD 100,000 (~RM421,000).